Death of a Grain

My response to the prompt of “Grain.”


Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.

– Jesus


My wife and I have been thinking about a major life change. It’s been over a year that we’ve now lived in Omaha, Nebraska and despite her having her dream job as a labor and delivery nurse, and my privilege to stay home with our two boys, we have not felt really a part of the community here. Despite having much of my family nearby, we have not really connected like we thought we would have by now.


We just haven’t taken root here in Omaha like we had expected.
We feel isolated and alone.


So maybe it’s time to fall to the ground.
Maybe it’s time to die.


As of yesterday my wife and I applied to be Family-teachers at Boystown here near Omaha. It’s an opportunity for us to potentially be foster parents to 6-8 kids, either all boys or all girls. We’d move and be provided a house and transportation and a salary.

It would be tough, yet rewarding.
Draining, yet fulfilling.

We are excited about the possibility of being foster parents in this way. We feel that it would give me the opportunity to apply some of the skills and training and gifts that I have  in a more responsible way.

We know that there would be some dramatic sacrifice that would have to be made to do this well. It would potentially bring strain into our marriage. We would constantly need to be dying to our own desires and wishes, putting the needs of the kids we would be parenting over our own.

But we feel this is an opportunity for us to live into our values. We look at the eternal value of this role and see it as invaluable. As the cliché goes, we might not be able to change the world, but we can change the world for others.


So we plant ourselves in the ground, and ask for God to ignite that miracle of resurrection, and growth, and multiplication in our lives. For we want to be where Jesus is, and serve him.


The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’



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